Not to sound like I’m having any kind of existential crisis, but who am I?
Let’s start with the easy stuff.
I’m a woman in her mid to late 40s, internationally born, traveled, and located. What does that even mean? It means I was born in a different country to the one I grew up in, lived in. It means I have traveled more than I ever thought I would, outside of my home country and am currently living in a country that is not my passport country. Confusing?
Stay with me.
Saying I have a “home” country is, while not misleading, is a bit of a misnomer. I don’t really know what or where I would consider home. I was adopted from South Korea, raised in the South of the US, moved to the Midwest of the US for my teenage years to mid 20s, got on a plane and moved to Hong Kong for my first marriage, stayed for 18 years, got my permanent residency, divorced my first husband, and then married and divorced my second husband while still in Hong Kong.
While still in Hong Kong, I met the guy that would become my third husband. We lived out Covid in Hong Kong, moved to Australia when the borders opened, got married in Australia and am now a permanent resident in Australia with my third husband.
Which is why it’s easier to say my passport country, where I am a citizen is American, my birth country is South Korea, and for many years Hong Kong was my home. And now, Australia holds that place in my heart.
I’m a Cat Mom to 2 senior cats that have moved with me from the US to Hong Kong to Australia. Maybe it’s easier to say where they are is where I feel is home.
Those are the facts. But doesn’t really tell you about me.
So here goes…
I am someone who believes in love, believes in being an active participant in finding the love that fits our lives and who we are. I don’t believe that the “one and done” is a measure of success (obviously, I’m on my third), instead I believe in finding the person that fits you and having the hope that they grow and continue to grow with you.
If they do, amazing. If they don’t, I’m a huge believer in having the strength to let them go and going and finding the person that fits you, where you are, and trying again.
I believe that you can have something with someone for a Reason, Season and Lifetime. But I firmly believe, in fact, I know, that you and the person of your choice have to choose to work at the Lifetime.
I am a full hearted believer in making mistakes because you have to make the mistakes to learn, to build and to grow. And that’s what I do best.
I have loved with everything I was, and lost who I was. I’ve tried to fit an ideal, settled and accepted far less than what I know I was looking for. Those were my first two marriages in a nutshell.
I’ve had my heart broken and been lied to and cheated on. I’ve had relationships that ended with a slow burn and some that ended out of “nowhere”. (By the way, no relationship ends out of nowhere). I’ve been the one to walk away, and walked away from. I’ve lost money in divorces and gained my independence and learned so much about who I am and who I was going to become.
Through all that, I never became jaded, cynical, instead still wanted to find someone to spend time with, to share a life with, to have fun with, and if lucky, to grow old with. To do that, I had to get back up on that really tall, really temperamental horse, and try again. And again. Oh, and again. Because I am someone who believes in love, a kind of love that you have to work for, work at, be an active participant, to try, to accept and to cultivate.
That’s me, at a quick glance. What’s more interesting to me is who you are.
So, who are you?
I’d like to find out, but here are some ideas I have…let me know if any or all fit you.
You are someone that also wants that companionship, not the mundane kind, where it’s only really inertia that keeps you together. Instead you’re looking for the kind of companionship that makes you laugh, that warms your soul, that surprises you. You are someone that has had your heart broken, or experienced loneliness, not just alone but also in relationships. You are someone that is fed up with just accepting what is out there, especially when you know you can find someone that gets your “crazy”.
You’re here because maybe you’ve made the mistakes, you’ve learned what you needed to and are ready to build and grow. You’re here because you are hopeful and wanting to find someone that you can make mistakes with, learn with, and grow with. You’re here because doing it alone is a bit too tough right now and you need someone, an impartial third party, that wants the best for you, with no judgement. Someone who’s only “expectation” is that you try, that you do the work, and you put yourself out there. Someone, that if you fall off that horse gives you the space to fall without feeling foolish.
So, if you are here, welcome. This is the space where we stop pretending it’s easy and start admitting it’s worth it. Whether you are here for a Reason, a Season, or you’re ready to do the work for a Lifetime—I’m glad you found us.
This blog is where I’ll share the insights, the “Lemons,” and the lessons learned from three marriages and a lifetime of jumping. If you want to ensure you don’t miss those quieter moments—the advice that feels a little too personal for a public feed—I invite you to join the Lemon Capy Love list.
It’s where we get real about finding the love that fits, delivered quietly to your inbox.
